Sunday 18 April 2010

It's not a pleasant pheasant


Arrived at the allotment site a few days ago (on a rare mid-week day off work) to be greeted by the sight of a pheasant casually, methodically, destructively and horridly working it's way along someones planting row, pulling whatever it was up one by one and tossing aside. I reckon it's the site dominatrix. Some fool had planted their runner beans way too early, and the pheasant is here to teach us all a lesson. "Haven't. I. Told. You. These. Beans. Will. Not. Survive. Planting. Out. In. April. See? Told you so".

I ran towards it flapping my arms like an ungainly emu to chase it away, off it flew with an indignant gutteral squawk. I think my card is marked - it'll trash my crops in revenge sooner or later. Word is out amongst the pheasant mafiosi. But revenge is a dish best served cold, so I'm probably in for it much later on, just as I'm about to start cropping. Pheasant season doesn't start till 1st October, so it has a full 5 months to wreak havoc. Not that I'll be shooting it. I've only had pheasant once - too gamey for me, and it almost took my back teeth out when I bit down on a piece peppered with lead-shot.

Still, good to see that whoever it was had replanted by yesterday morning, but this time their row is protected with what looks like yards of streaming video tape and lots of shiny CDs dangling from strings. I need to make something similar for my plot - so far it hasn't found my 4 short rows of peas, but both you & I know that it will.

8 comments:

  1. Ah! You had me laughing!
    I have squirrels that do this. As I'm going around the garden planting, they are following me unplanting. I always thought it was because they thought they were better gardeners than me.

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  2. I don't have any bird scaring devices on my plot other than a net cage for covering my brassicas, but the slugs ended up getting them last year anyway.

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  3. I love your drawing... you have made the pheasant look quite cute though and so it's hard to find him an unpleasant character at all! I just use net but I am considering buying those childrens windmills they sell on the seafront, a few people on our allotment use those.

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  4. could we have a drawing of you flapping your arms like an ungainly emu please?

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  5. There is a couple of awards for you on my blog, I hope you will accept them, but you are under no obligation. I just wanted to let you know that I enjoy your blog.

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  6. Quail would eat my mother's delphinium to nothing every year. She'd put them under buckets to keep them away. Never saw them in action like you've depicted, though. That would have been hilarious. Awesome post.

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  7. ha ha ha..I needed a laugh this morning...I am always amused when reading posts on this site at all the different critters that gardeners have to deal with...from moose to possums to pheasant...oh joy...

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  8. Always happy to do requests. Self-portrait as ungainly emu coming right up.

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